


more than any other

by peaceoutofthepieces



Series: when I live my dream (please be there to meet me) [6]
Category: SKAM (Netherlands), WTFock | Skam (Belgium)
Genre: Established Relationship, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, Love Confessions, M/M, Originally Posted on Tumblr
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-03
Updated: 2020-05-03
Packaged: 2021-03-01 19:07:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,929
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23982067
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/peaceoutofthepieces/pseuds/peaceoutofthepieces
Summary: “What are you doing here?” Jens asks, seeming more surprised than anything. Lucas supposes that’s fair. He’s only been here a few times and always with Jens’s invitation. Always when they’re sure none of his family members will be present. And if they are, only appearing through Jens’s bedroom window. (Lucas had regretted it almost immediately, but he’d tried to be romantic. It had made Jens laugh, and kiss him, and giddily shush him every time he spoke, so it had been worth it.)“I needed to talk to you. And you wouldn’t answer your phone.”
Relationships: Jens Stoffels/Lucas van der Heijden
Series: when I live my dream (please be there to meet me) [6]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1622431
Comments: 1
Kudos: 50





	more than any other

**Author's Note:**

> The last fic-part of my social media AU on tumblr that I should have posted ages ago 🙈

Lucas’s first knock feels a little harsh, and he freezes completely before repeating the action gently. The rain is spattering the shoulders of his denim jacket and quickly soaking through his hood, leaving him shivering and impatient enough to knock again. The door swings open while his fist is still raised, and he looks down to find a girl that can’t be older than ten, with hair a few shades lighter than Jens’s raven locks and a curious expression. _Lotte_ , his brain supplies. Jens’s little sister that he’s thus far been banned from meeting. 

“Hi,” Lucas says, trying his best to give her a warm smile. It isn’t too difficult, because his chest filled with instant warmth at the sight of her, but he can’t quite shake his anxiety off. “You must be Lotte.”

She nods, look only growing more sceptical. Lucas feels his smile widen at her tilted head and hesitant smile and has to kick the urge to crouch down to her. He’ll have time to get into the girl’s good books once he’s back in Jens’s. At the moment, Jens is his priority. 

“I’m Jens’s friend Lucas. Is he home?” Lotte perks up at the name and nods, stepping back to let Lucas through. He closes the door as she turns down the hallway and then trails a few paces behind, letting her go to Jens for him. She calls out to him on her way before opening his door a notch and peeping her head in. 

“Lucas is here,” she says. “Is he a new friend?”

There’s a muffled reply that Lucas strains to hear, but then it doesn’t matter because Jens is there. Standing in his doorway, looking rumpled and exhausted and so utterly beautiful that Lucas’s heart pangs. His throat has dried up suddenly and he swallows, shoving his hands in the pockets of his jacket and mumbling a hesitant, “Hi.” Jens is just staring at him, betraying nothing, and he doesn’t know what else to do. 

“What are you doing here?” Jens asks, seeming more surprised than anything. Lucas supposes that’s fair. He’s only been here a few times and always with Jens’s invitation. Always when they’re sure none of his family members will be present. And if they are, only appearing through Jens’s bedroom window. (Lucas had regretted it almost immediately, but he’d tried to be romantic. It had made Jens laugh, and kiss him, and giddily shush him every time he spoke, so it had been worth it.)

“I needed to talk to you. And you wouldn’t answer your phone.” 

“I turned it off,” Jens admits. Lucas only nods, biting down on his lip to prevent himself from blurting out anything incriminating. He isn’t sure why, because he can’t think of a single thing to say, can only think of too many, and it’s so jumbled up in his head that there’s no way anything is making it to his mouth. 

“Mama is making cookies if you want some,” Lotte says to Lucas, with so much sweetness that he momentarily forgets his inner turmoil. He offers her a warm smile, but doesn’t get to say anything before Jens settles a hand on her head and answers for him. 

“You should go help her. Lucas and I will come get some later.” 

She gives him a slightly suspicious, slightly pouty look, but obediently makes her way to the kitchen. Lucas watches her go and feels a little more settled. Jens at least isn’t planning on kicking him out. Lucas turns back to him and tucks his jacket closer around him by the pockets. “She’s cute,” he offers.

Jens takes a small breath and then holds the door to his room open. Lucas makes his way inside before either of them can change their mind. He takes in the room that is slowly becoming familiar to him. The bed and its dark sheets; the photos covering almost a half of the wall behind it; the game console on the nightstand; the guitar tucked in the corner; the skateboard leaned against the wall. All the things so naturally _Jens_ that Lucas hardly even paid attention before. He’s always more distracted by the boy himself, and this time isn’t really any different. 

Jens is leaning against the door, blank-faced, but as soon as Lucas turns to him he’s moving forwards. Lucas catches him in his arms and holds him close, letting Jens tuck his face into his shoulder and pull him in by the waist. Lucas moves a hand into his hair, smoothing it through the dark strands, and feels the unsteady breath the other releases against his neck. 

“I’m here,” Lucas assures quietly. “You can talk to me.”

Jens lets out a shaky breath and Lucas squeezes him tighter. He hadn’t really predicted this. He didn’t think Jens would give in so easily. He thinks it hurts more that he does. That whatever it is, it’s hurt him enough to make him instantly succumb to Lucas’s comfort. He closes his eyes and presses closer still, and Jens relaxes minutely. 

The silence is only working to strengthen his anxiety, but he plans to wait it out. He won’t push—not when they’ve gotten this far. 

Then Jens’s next breath shudders, and Lucas aches. “Hey,” he hushes, in the same second that Jens begins crying in earnest. This isn’t what he’d prepared himself for. He’d come expecting flippancy, infuriating ignorance, another stream of denial. He’d been more prepared to have Jens snap at him, to get frustrated and tell him to leave, but he hadn’t thought of this. He’d prepared himself to be comforting, yes, but he hadn’t expected it to go to such an extent. He isn’t sure he’s made for this; but it’s Jens. And Jens is most certainly made for him. 

Lucas will give him anything he needs, always, in every universe. There’s no one he cares about more.

“Jens,” he mutters softly, pitying, “you’re okay. I’ve got you. You’re okay.” Jens just clings to him. Lucas cards his hand through his hair, attempting to provide maximum comfort, but the sounds escaping Jens’s lips are still more sob than breath. He’s doing his best to muffle them, sucking in air harshly to try and hold them down, and it makes Lucas feel worse. Jens doesn’t have to hide with him, and he hates that he can’t see that. That he doesn’t realise it’s all of him Lucas loves, every single atom, no matter how tainted or fragile. Lucas will wrap them all in his own and do his best to protect each and every one. 

He moves his hand to Jens’s face, gripping either side of his jaw lightly and tilting his head back. Jens attempts to turn away but Lucas holds him in place, stroking his thumbs over his cheeks and catching the tears as they fall. “Hey. _I’ve got you_. You don’t have to hide with me. Please. Not with me.”

Jens swallows and squeezes his eyes shut, leaning his head against Lucas’s. “I’m sorry. I was shitty to you. I swear I didn’t mean to be.”

Lucas only shakes his head and caresses a sharp cheekbone, stretching up to kiss it gently. Jens turns into the touch, nose pressing to Lucas’s cheek, and Lucas turns to meet him. He gives him one short, sweet kiss as a reassurance and then takes a step back. No matter how tempting it is, he can’t ignore the issue. He can’t ignore whatever it is that pushed Jens to this point, that left him raw and crying in Lucas’s hold. “What’s going on, Jens?”

Jens exhales shakily, then extracts himself from Lucas’s arms to walk to his nightstand and pick up his phone. Lucas watches patiently as he turns it on and taps at the screen before holding it out towards him. Lucas raises a brow, but takes the item when Jens only continues to stand there, eyes downcast. The screen is open to his Instagram DMs, and Lucas scrolls past Robbe’s and Moyo’s and his own—and dozens filled with slurs and slander and just plain curses, the same thing repeating over and over again. 

That he’s disgusting. That he’s wrong. That he’s greedy. That they’re disappointed. So much so that they can’t follow him anymore, but not enough that they can’t send multiple messages to follow up. That he should stop posting. That he shouldn’t be a Broerrr. 

That he’s unlovable. 

So how in the world could Lucas love him?

“Fuck,” he breathes. He looks up at Jens, discovers the other boy still isn’t looking at him. “This is brutal. Christ, Jens. Why didn’t you tell us you were getting it this bad?”

Jens shrugs. The movement is so tiny Lucas isn’t sure it wasn’t just an involuntary shiver. “You’re all getting it, and you’re fine. It’s nothing worse than everyone talking about Sander’s bipolar, or dissing Robbe, or complaining about you. We’re all supposed to be dealing with it.”

“Yeah, we are. All of us. Not _alone_ , Jens. And my DMs aren’t full of this. Not to this extent. Fuck, why didn’t you say anything?”

Jens only shakes his head, and that’s when Lucas notices the tears pricking at his eyes again. “Because I’m scared they’re right.”

Lucas opens his mouth, a rant already prepared on how that’s complete bullshit and there is absolutely nothing _wrong_ with him. He just as quickly snaps it closed when he suddenly understands. 

_No one’s ever going to be able to love you. Not even your ‘boyfriend’._

“Jens,” Lucas breathes, and every part of him is aching now, because of all things for Jens to listen to it had to be the biggest lie of all. “You fucking idiot.”

Jens blinks at him, then twists away, sullen, and Lucas closes the distance between them in a second. He cups his face once more, tugging it around towards him. “Jens. Look at me,” he orders softly. It takes a moment, but eventually Jens meets his eyes. Lucas shoves all his nerves down and keeps their gazes locked. “You’re not alone. You’re not disgusting, or wrong, and you don’t have to ‘pick a side’ or change anything for anyone. Especially not for me.”

He takes a deep breath and repeats what Jens had said to him, only over a week back, and yet an eternity ago. “I haven’t felt anything like this, ever. No one has ever made me feel this way but you. No one has ever made me feel this _much_. And I know that it’s the same in every universe, because no version of me would be capable of living without you. I’d find you in every one and fall in love with you every single time. That’s what I feel, Jens. I love you.”

Jens inhales sharply, then his jaw goes slack under Lucas’s hands. He curls his hands in the back of Lucas’s jacket, gripping the fabric tightly. Lucas smoothes his hands down his neck to rest on his shoulders, pulling him down to kiss him softly. “I love you,” he repeats. “In this universe more than any other.”

“Luc,” Jens breathes, just as the door opens behind them. Lucas whirls around at the same time Jens jumps back, knocking a glass off the locker as Lucas just avoids stumbling into the bed. “Fuck,” Jens mutters, stooping to pick up the glass while Lucas is left to smile unconvincingly at Lotte, where she stands innocently in the doorway, barely looking into the room. 

“Sorry,” she mumbles, eyes wide, and Jens rushes over to pull her into the room, closing the door with a soft click. Her eyes roam over her brother’s face and grow sad, before her gaze flicks to Lucas and back. “Why are you crying?”

Jens glances back at Lucas, too, and wipes his eyes harshly, shaking his head. “I was laughing.”

She gives him a dubious look. “I didn’t hear you.”

“Lotte, I’m fine. Why didn’t you knock?”

Her wide eyes return as she gives him a sheepish smile. “Sorry. The cookies are ready.” She shoots another look at Lucas, then says, very quietly, “Does Mama know you have a boyfriend?”

Jens puffs out a breath and looks to Lucas. Lucas shrugs. Whatever Jens wants to do, he’ll support. It’s not even a question. Jens nods to himself for a second before crouching down in front of the girl and shaking his head. “No. Neither of them know.”

He doesn’t have to say anything else to make Lotte nod seriously. “I won’t tell them,” she promises. Then she whispers, “He’s very pretty.”

Jens laughs, loud and full, and Lucas grins. He’s missed that sound, so much. Lotte seems a little startled, but she’s smiling too, and an adorable little blush takes over her face when she catches Lucas looking at her. Jens sobers enough to whisper back, with all the same seriousness, “I know. You should see him when he laughs.”

Lucas’s cheeks warm, and it only worsens when Jens looks over his shoulder to smile at him. He makes a face at Lotte and she giggles at him. Jens twists backs around to her and pulls her into a loose hug, pressing a kiss to her cheek. “Thank you,” he says. “I promise I’ll tell them soon.”

She smiles brightly. “Then Lucas can come over more often.”

“Yeah, hopefully,” Jens promises. 

There’s a knock on the door this time, and Jens pushes to his feet as a woman pokes her head in. Lucas assumes this must be their mother, and unconsciously stands a little straighter as her gaze flicks between the three of them. “Hello.”

Jens freezes. “Uhm, this is Lucas,” he says lamely. 

“He’s Jens’s new friend from school,” Lotte says simply. “He has a nice accent.”

Lucas is unbelievably grateful for her. He can tell Jens feels the same. “He just moved from the Netherlands a while ago,” Jens explains. 

“Oh, that can’t have been easy, moving in the middle of the school year,” the woman frowns, coming inside and holding a hand out to Lucas with an easy smile. “I’m Jens’s mother Fenna.”

Lucas takes her hand. “Nice to meet you.” He’s very glad his voice doesn’t wobble, but his smile feels unsteady. Anxious. This isn’t exactly how he’d imagined meeting her, either. It’s, again, probably something he should’ve expected just turning up here. 

“Have you been here long? How are you settling in?”

“Uhm, just a bit over a month. Everyone’s been really welcoming. Jens and his friends have been great.”

Lotte giggles and Jens shoots her a warning look. Lucas sneaks her a wink as Fenna reaches out to squeeze Jens’s arm. “Well, good. I’m glad he’s done something to make himself useful,” she teases. Jens sticks his tongue out at her. “Honestly, at least take his coat for him.”

Jens sighs, but obediently holds out his hand as Lucas slips his jacket off his shoulders. He hands it over with a smile and ignores the face Jens pulls at him. 

“We’re taking Lotte to see that new film, so we’ll be gone for a few hours. You’re sure you don’t want to come along?” Fenna asks her son. Jens shakes his head and gestures at Lucas. 

“I have to be good company,” he points out, all put-upon and sarcastic. Lucas can’t believe how quickly his mood has shifted. He wonders if the quirk of the woman’s lips means she’s noticed it as well. He doesn’t know if Jens had been putting on a braver face with them, or if he’d been just as obviously quiet, just as unlike himself. He doubts it was the latter. If he hadn’t told Lucas or the others, there’s no way he would’ve let his family in on it. 

He smiles now as his mother pats his cheek and says, “That’s what I like to hear. There’s fresh cookies on the counter if you want any.”

“But make sure you save some for me,” Lotte pipes up as the woman leaves, hugging her brother round the waist. 

Jens ruffles her hair and hums. “We’ll see.”

Lotte pouts up at him, and Lucas feels for her, so he says, “I’ll make sure there’s some left for you.”

The girl grins, then she’s running over to hug him as well. Lucas’s lips part in surprise, and he looks at Jens with wide eyes. Jens only smiles softly back at him, so Lucas wraps his arms around her little shoulders and pats her head. She scrunches her nose up in response, but she returns his smile and waves on her way out the door, so Lucas assumes he did okay. They hear the front door shut a couple of moments later, and Jens tosses Lucas’s jacket on his bed. 

Lucas only raises his brows at him. “So, cookies?” He makes his way to the door, but Jens catches him before he gets there, slamming it shut and pushing Lucas up against it. His lips are covered before he can protest, Jens kissing him with hungry desperation, and Lucas winds his arms around his neck and slows him down with a hand in his hair. He gives a few slow drags of their lips, letting Jens press up against him, and he sinks into it. This is something he’d definitely missed. 

“We didn’t get to finish our conversation,” Jens mumbles, lips brushing over Lucas’s cheek, and all the playful demeanor he’d mustered for Lotte is gone. He presses his forehead to Lucas’s and looks at him seriously. “Did you mean it?”

Lucas can’t believe him. He nods, and lets him pretend it isn’t obvious. “Every word.”

Jens swallows, and this time he brings his hands to Lucas’s cheeks, his touch delicate as he says, “I love you too. More than I’ve ever loved anyone.”

Lucas feels his chest fill with relief. It’s pushed out on a sigh, and he closes his eyes, pulling Jens closer and allowing the emotions to overtake him. A laugh bubbles up and he lets it escape, lets Jens kiss him in response. He mumbles it over and over against Jens’s lips and feels all the tension bleed out of him, feels the joy wrapping around his own heart. 

Then Jens is gripping the back of his thighs and picking him up off the floor and his head empties. All coherent thought leaves him in an instant, and nothing registers but Jens’s hands, hot on his legs, his chest against Lucas’s, his hips pressing him into the wood, his unfaltering kiss. He’d been so sure he was losing it. That he was part of what was making Jens pull away, if not all of it; that somewhere in all the shit they were getting Jens had decided that he wasn’t worth it. Realised that he didn’t want him. He’s never been so glad he was so wrong. 

All his breath left him as soon as his feet left the ground, but he sucks in just enough to gasp, “Since when can you do that?”

Jens shrugs, lips already trailing a path down his neck. “Since always, I guess. You’re not much heavier than Robbe.”

Lucas blinks, but then Jens is nipping at his skin, and he doesn’t care about anything. “I won’t even ask.”

Jens huffs a laugh and recaptures his lips, making sure he’s securely held against the door before removing a hand to slide it under his jumper. Lucas arches against him, and he really needs them to pause before this continues. “Wait, wait, wait. Jens. Come on. You should talk about this.”

Jens puffs out a breath, but obediently stops, dropping his head to Lucas’s shoulder. “I know. I’m sorry, for freaking you out and pushing you away and being an idiot. I promise we’ll talk. Okay? I promise.” He turns his head, pressing his nose against Lucas’s cheek and drawing his earlobe between his teeth. “But you just told me you love me, and all I want to do right now is kiss you. And maybe some other things, if you’re up for that.”

Lucas had thought he was losing him. Now here he is, all of him offered up for Lucas, for his hands and his lips and his love and there’s nothing he wants more. There’s nothing in him that wants to say no. “I’m very up for that,” he breathes. 

Jens grins, and then they’re kissing again. Lucas tightens his hold as Jens’s hand skims over his stomach, fingers curling in his hair, relishing in the way Jens groans against his lips. Maybe they shouldn’t, maybe talking is more important, but if the best thing Lucas can do right now is distract him, he’ll do it gladly. Robbe told him to take care of him, after all. 

“You need to text Robbe. Or let me text Robbe. He’s worried about you,” Lucas gets out, and Jens’s groan this time is one of complaint. He returns his grip to Lucas’s thighs and spins them away from the door, huffing a laugh when Lucas yelps. His breath is knocked out of him again when Jens drops him on the bed, and he bounces slightly once as Jens picks up his phone. He taps at it for a moment and then tosses it to the side, climbing over Lucas and raising a brow above him. “Happy now?”

Lucas nods and lets himself be kissed into the mattress, twirling Jens’s hair around his fingers and locking his legs around his waist. Jens lifts up to drag his jumper up his sides, and Lucas lets him pull it off before reaching for the hem of Jens’s shirt. He gets his hands on bare skin as Jens kisses down his chest, but he trails a path back up before getting too far. He presses a soft kiss to Lucas’s lips, resting on his elbows, and says, “I have stuff. If you uhm. If you want to.”

Lucas blinks. “You’re very prepared.” 

“But we don’t have to,” Jens rushes to reassure. “If you don’t want to. If you never want to. I don’t care what we do. I just love you. As long as I get to be with you, none of this matters to me.”

Lucas feels flushed, and he knows his smile is unbelievably sappy. “You’re so soft,” he teases. Jens nips at his jaw and he laughs. “Thank you. But I want to. I really, really want to.”

Jens gives him a look. “Are you sure? I don’t want to hurt you.”

“I trust you,” Lucas says simply, punctuating it with a kiss to his cheek. “I love you.” Another kiss, the other cheek. “I want you.” And one more, on his lips. 

Jens’s grin is all the assurance he needs. No more has to be said. 

An hour later, after Jens has spent endless time kissing every inch of his face, and carding soothingly through his hair, he lets Lucas switch their positions and pull him into his chest, one hand in his hair and the other on his back. He trails a path up Jens’s spine and back down, repetitive and idle, until Jens’s lashes are low and his breath is sleep-heavy. Content. Lucas presses a kiss to the top of his head. He hasn’t been able to wipe the soft smile off his face. 

“That was actually much easier than I expected,” Lucas admits. 

Jens squeezes his side. “I might’ve had some pointers. You promise you’re okay?”

Lucas hums. “Never been better.”

He’s surprised to find that he means it.


End file.
